Bret: There was a bit in that song where we were dealing with the issue of AIDS. The bit with the monkeys.
Jemaine: Yeah because it was believed that AIDS was contracted from the monkeys. Not the band but the animal. And we just wanted to deal with that issue – just a couple of points. Just changing the attitude towards AIDS from being “Eww AIDSy” to more like “Oh! Fun monkey disease”

***
Bret: This is the DG20
Jemaine: We got this from a pawn shop in the future.

***
Bret: My wife and I weren’t able to have children. That’s why we chose to imagine them. The doctor suggested it and it’s actually been incredibly rewarding.
Jemaine: Bret’s wife is not able to have children because she’s not a real woman. She’s an imaginary person.
Bret: Yeah, she’s imaginary, yeah. The kids take after her in that sense.

***
Interviewer: So what’s the coolest thing about living in America?
Clement: People are friendly.
McKenzie: Paying taxes to George Bush is a real treat.
Clement: What Bret means to say is the people are friendly.

***
“we’re flight of the conchords, from new zealand” “I dunno if you guys know much about new zealand, but, uh, a few years ago we invented something we call hip-hop.” “2001?” “do you remember when we invented hip-hop that day, with steve?” “at the barbecue?”

***
Jemaine: There is only one kind of dance: the Robot.
Bret: And the Robo Boogie.
Jemaine: Oh, yes. Two kinds of dances.

***

Jemaine: I’m not cryin’. It’s just been raining… on my face.

***

Dave: Hot bod. Gross face. I get it. Just hit that shit from behind.
***
Murray: Be careful with it. Don’t stand next to any big magnets.
Jemaine: Why would I stand next to a big magnet?
Murray: I don’t know what you do in your personal life.
***
Jemaine: You’re so beautiful, like a tree or a high-class prostitute.
***
Dave: Women love that sensitive nautical shit.
Bret: Really?
Dave: Yeah. Haven’t you ever seen Watership Down?
***
Bret: She’s so hot, she’s making me sexist – bitch.
***
Jemaine: It doesn’t matter what country someone’s from, or what they look like, or the color of their skin. It doesn’t matter what they smell like, or that they spell words slightly differently some would say more correctly. I’m a person. Bret’s a person. You’re a person. That person over there is a person. And each person deserves to be treated like a person.
***
Bret: Has your suit snugged up a bit?
Jemaine: In certain areas, yes. In certain other areas, yes.
***
“Did she look Australian?”
“Her face maybe, but definitely not her body.”
**
“Surre your weedy and kinda shy, but some girly out there must be needy for a weedy shy guy”
***
It wouldn’t be gay to put a wig on a man and pretend they’re a woman.
How could that be gay if you’re pretending they’re a woman? …Not that I did it.
***
Murray: When you’re in a band, you don’t get with your bandmate’s girlfriend – past or present.
Jemaine: Yes, well thanks for that.
Murray: You get a love triangle – you know? Fleetwood Mac situation.
Murray: Well there there was four of them, so more of a love square. But you know, no one gets on.
Jemaine: Okay, I see.
Murray: Mind you, they did make some of their best music back then.
Bret: Rumors.
Murray: No, that’s all true
***
I’m going to be over here…working on my leisure activities

***

“Well, that’s me. I’m the J-Dog. It’s street language. You know, you just take the first letter of your name and put dog on the end of it, and all the other dogs sort of respect you”

**
In fact, one time when we were touring and I was really lonely.
And we were sharing that twin room in the hotel.
I put a wig on you, when you were sleeping, I put a wig on you.
Oh, ohhh, oooooh, oh, and I just laid there and spooned you.

***
Maxwell: This ah, fence of toothbrushes, sounds fascinating.
Murray: Probably haven’t got one in Australia? Have you?
Maxwell: Nah.
Murray: No.
Maxwell: We’ve got Ayers Rock, mate. Big, huge rock… Massive.
Murray: Yeah, we’ve got rocks. We’ve got a big…smaller rocks.

Back to Flight Conchord tickets.